A proper lawn requires an army
this is war
to look like artificial turf
mow them down
with machine gun rat ta tat
merciless fury
give them brush cuts
all the same height
to be soldiers in turf
a large swath of pure, refreshing green
this is the army
every blade in its proper place
right face right, attention
always at attention, you’re army soldiers
be proud, be strong, stand up and be counted
do your job
make the owner proud
he wants to look wealthy
wants to have the perfect lawn
landscapers are here to help create his image
total control, in charge
just like the neighbors
keep up with the Jones’s
the work doesn’t take long
quick, in and out
we have other landscapes to trim
we scape the land, scrape the land
we rape the land
mow it, mow mow it, mowt
blow away stray leaves
Suck up grass clippings
in large white canvas bags
tossed into the big truck
a landscapers stock in trade
which drags a big aluminum trailer
loaded with mowers, trimmers, blowers
shovels, rakes, extra gas
all customized to make noise
eardrum shattering, decibel breaking
music of power mowers, grinding, growling
blowing, sweeping without brooms
it’s drill time
up and at ‘em, fall in
each blade a private in a suburban army
to stand at attention,
no slouching
we will cut you down to size
landscapers are the generals, five star
men with colorful bars on chests
boasting their great lawn battles they’ve won
tiny, thin blades of green
humbled, unnoticed, following their leader
the owner man shops at Home Depot
in the gardening isle
big bags of fertilizer, pesticides, herbicides
to feed his lawn, he cares about his lawn
he feels a sense of accomplishment
a satisfaction that he has applied his will
my lawn will be the best lawn
this is his slice of nature
he’s out to kick the face of ecology
his war against diversity, against bald spots
no dandelions – those little yellow spots
dotting his green empire
dig them out, spot spray with poison
finally, his little paradise
looks like a sod farm
look neighbors
look how much I care
this is my castle
i have bent each blade
trained them all to make me proud
this is just about the only thing
I can control. I won the war
