I’m doin fifty eight in the slow lane
With a 70’s right on my ass
I stay the course
Speedometer steady
Under the speed limit by 2mph
And mister eighty mph
Streaks past on my left
Weaves in and weaves out
I see him blur by
Right at the edge of death
Pushing, always pushing
Get outta my way you asshole
You son of a bitch
in my little crushed tin can Honda civic
Competing with big ass trucks
And vans the size of Walmarts
I’m paying attention, I’m scared
I got both hands on the wheel
ITS ROAD RAGE DITTY DO DA
Rear view mirror – red flashing lights
This is a holy cow moment
A big boxy EMS truck
Sirens me into panic
Comes up with its dancing yellow lights
Showering me with emergency
Its road rage ditty do da
It’s hot baby
Where’s a side street?
Where’s an exit ramp
No solf shoulder, it’m stuck
Take it take it
Little ole me in my little death trap
Knees against the steering wheel
Seat all the way back
There’s another one, right on my tail
“Where’you going so fast and all that?
Chill, cool down, slow yourself”
Three feet from my bumper
Not what I learned in driving school
Car length for every ten mph
I’m hanging back at 38 MPH
I can tell she’s late for work,
I’m in her way. She’s thinking what?
She blasts horn, shouts out her window
“Get the fulk out of da way!”
Her monster SUV is doing the talking
it’s the journey, not the destination
I am lost in a chaos of speeding metal
Of plastic, and rubber, and noise
Trapped in the center lane
A form of solitary confinement
On this s u p e r h i g h w a y of insane
ROAD RAGE DITTY DO DA
Cars this way, every which way,
Over me, under me, left and right
And little ole me
It’s a DITTY DA DA ROAD RAGE world
All stressed out and scared and stuff
Me, all retired and slow
Just trying to be defensive
Don’t want no accident
It’s a full course press out here
And it’s coming from everywhere
Why does everybody hate me?
I just want to go home
Is that so wrong?
NO MORE ROAD RAGE DITTY DO DA