I don’t like sudden
It’s too sudden
Like a champagne bottle cork about to pop
I know it will happen, but I jump anyway

I want things slow
No surprises
Show me a world
Where there are ample warnings
Where slow changes are slow

Sudden is too sudden
It’s an exclamation point jolt
No thank you – I need creeping lightning bolts
That don’t scare me
I’m too old for suddenly

I jump when someone sneaks up behind me
I’m not ready for a heart attack
Dull normal is just fine
Too many things in life startle me
Like settling dust

The rising tide, please slow down
I get scared by sudden gunshots and sunrises
Will somebody please
Slow down the rotation of the earth

I’ve got to see things coming
Passive – aggressive behavior
Scares the shit out of me
Please don’t do that
Just kindly let me know when its coming

Die slowly please
I hate it when someone
Drops dead right before my eyes
Don’t do that
Shock and me go way back

I spend quality time cowering in my closet
To increase my chances to avoid stress
I’m sorry, but suddenly is not a healthy part of my life
Like that shadow of a person behind the house
Holding an AK-47

I belong to the gradual club
We don’t believe in ambush
We don’t prefer scary movies
We want to know when to be scared ahead of time
For us, being prepared for suddenly improves the quality of our lives

I need 24 hours notice for earthquakes
I need a few moments before
The person next to me sneezes
So I don’t jump when I’m scared out of my fucking mind
You’re killing me with your sudden moves. Let me know ahead of time